My Why Not Me Philosophy
by alicemayisbetter
Summary: What happens when Blaine knows what Kurt's doing in the senior commons, and decides it's a bit weird to confess your love over a tiny coffin. Oneshot.


**Hey guys! I'm working on a longer fic right now (which for me means maybe even 5000 words!) but in the meantime here's something I found in my old fics and never published. There's more to it but it needs serious revision, so if you're interested in seeing it review and I'll continue it if there's interest. Again, it's oldish, so if you notice any glaring errors in here let me know please!**

**Disclaimer: Glee is not mine. _Gonna Get Over You_ is not mine, either. It belongs to Sara Bareilles, who is great.**

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><p>Blaine Anderson, the king of dapper, the guy who was supposed to be unshakable and eternally wise, was nervous. Really nervous. And yes, the irony of all those <em>courage<em> texts was really hitting him now, thank you, no need to point that out.

The thing was, he was in love with Kurt. _He was in love with Kurt_. He had been ever since that beautiful heartbreaking moment during Blackbird when everything clicked and_ oh, there you are._

He'd almost done it, just a few days ago; he'd seen Kurt alone and almost gone in and told him, but Kurt was decorating Pavarotti's _coffin_, and how creepy would that be? And after that—first Wes had to talk to Blaine about Kurt's "potential lack of stage presence" and then Nick and Jeff had hijacked Kurt for some prank they were pulling with a pot of fondue, and really there hadn't been a chance from then until now. Another Warbler meeting.

Here we go.

Wes banged his gavel to open the proceedings, and Blaine was already mentally preparing for the rampant debate about to open over _shasay-side-step_ versus _heel click-sidestep-twist_ when Wes interrupted his thoughts.

"We're going to open with an unscheduled performance by Warbler Kurt and a few members of New Directions." Nick cleared his throat pointedly. "Oh, and also Nick and Jeff."

Blaine was astonished; he was even more astonished when Kurt, Brittany, Tina, and Mercedes walked in in matching white t-shirts and leather jackets.

Kurt stepped forward and cleared his throat. "This is becoming a little bit of a tradition, sorry. Thanks for the help with this, everyone. I've been having an… emotional conflict lately, and I usually work through it with music."

Nick and Jeff started some peppy a cappella background music; all the performers started snapping. And then Kurt stared to sing.

_Goodbye  
><em>_Should be sayin' that to you by now, shouldn't I?  
><em>_Layin' down the law that I live by,  
><em>_Well maybe next time_

_I've got a thick tongue,  
><em>_Brimming with the words that go unsung  
><em>_Simmer then I burn for someone,  
><em>_The wrong one_

_And I tell myself to let the story end,  
><em>_My heart will rest in someone else's hand  
><em>_My 'why not me?' philosophy began,  
><em>_And I said_

Kurt started dancing with Brittany, popping his hips in a way that Blaine found a little too attractive.

_Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you?  
><em>_I'll be alright, just not tonight  
><em>_Someday, oh I wish you'd want me to stay  
><em>_I'll be alright, just not tonight,  
><em>_Someday_

_Maybe  
><em>_Is a vicious little word that can slay me  
><em>_Keep me where I'm hurting and make me,  
><em>_Hang from your hands_

Kurt was staring at Blaine as he danced, Blaine suddenly noticed, and Kurt gave him a half smile and mouthed _listen._ And so Blaine did. He listened.

_Well, no more,  
><em>_I won't beg to buy a shot at your back door  
><em>_If I'm aching at the thought of you, what for?  
><em>_That's not me anymore_

And so now Blaine was really listening to the lyrics, and _goodbye _and _the wrong one_ and_ no more_ and _maybe_ and worst of all, worst of all was _gonna get over you_ because of course he would, what was _wrong_ with Blaine, of course he would and he was and he has.

_And I'm not the guy that I intend to be,  
><em>_But I dare you darling, just you wait and see  
><em>_And this time not for you but just for me,  
><em>_I say_

_Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you?  
><em>_I'll be alright, just not tonight  
><em>_Someday, oh I wish you'd want me to stay  
><em>_I'll be alright, just not tonight,  
><em>_Someday_

Kurt had progressed past a half-smile to a full-on grin, to flirtatiously twirling Tina, to having Mercedes dance up to him to mock-shove her away.

_Say it's coming soon,  
><em>_Someday without you,  
><em>_All I can do  
><em>_Is get me past the ghost of you,_

Kurt looked at Blaine _very_ pointedly, very, _very_ pointedly, and Blaine was alreadytrying to listen and trying to smile and trying not to scream because _what the hell. What. The. Hell. Was. Wrong. With. Him._

_Wave goodbye to me,  
><em>_I won't say I'm sorry,  
><em>_I'll be alright  
><em>_once I find the other side of someday_

At this point Blaine was pretty sure that keeping a neutral face was going to kill him, but he had to because this was Kurt and Kurt was everything he'd ever wanted but didn't know he could have.

_Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you?  
><em>_I'll be alright, just not tonight  
><em>_Someday, oh I wish you'd want me to stay  
><em>_I'll be alright, just not tonight,  
><em>_But someday…_

Kurt had finished and Blaine applauded like everyone else because really, Kurt was a great singer, and it was Sara Bareilles and you usually can't go wrong with Sara Bareilles, except, of course, when your crush uses her to tell you he's no longer interested. Kurt was triumphant, smiling proud and strong in his independence from wanting Blaine, from needing Blaine.

Blaine, coming back to himself, suddenly realized Wes and David were sending him frantic looks, he presumed about his _plans_; because yes, Blaine recalled, he'd snapped after the third time David kidnapped Kurt to help with date outfits and actually told his friends what he was trying to do. He shook his head at them, and they shook their heads back, and he actually strangled the air a little because _duh, shaking my head means keep going with the meeting, how dumb are you?_

After much eye-rolling and head-nodding and mouthing of _continue,_ Wes finally banged his gavel for order—fortunately the delay had gone unnoticed by Kurt, who was busy thanking Nick, Jeff, and the girls for their help, mainly through the medium of enthusiastic hugs.

Blaine put it out of his mind, refusing to let himself seem less than normal; years of repressing his fears before a performance let him numb himself now. It was enough to sing and dance and he even managed a halfhearted table-jump.

This was what Kurt needed now and everything for Blaine was what Kurt needed, and if Kurt needed a mentor then Blaine gave him a mentor; if Kurt needed a best friend, then Blaine gave him a best friend. Kurt had needed Blaine to love him back and Blaine had finally gotten to the point where he realized he _did _love Kurt back, but now that wasn't what Kurt needed anymore, and Blaine was too in love with Kurt—he'd realized too late that he'd always been too in love with Kurt—not to give Kurt whatever would make Kurt happy. And that was obviously not crushing-Blaine, and that was probably good because crushing-Blaine was an idiot for not even considering that maybe Kurt wouldn't want Blaine back anymore.


End file.
